Ayisha Qureshi

Living life well is an art, for which you must know multiple skills. Now if someone were to ask me what is the one skill I recommend they should know or master to get through life, then I would definitely say: communication. If you know this one skill, guaranteed, both your personal and professional lives will not only improve, but flourish.

Humans are social animals and we cannot get through a day without interacting with one another. I constantly work on improving my communication at all levels, and still feel gaps that prevent me from getting the most out of an interaction, a negotiation and even a relationship. Here is my take on why communication is important and what to do about it:

1. With the explosion of the social media, interacting and communicating well with others has become even more critical. Each post you put up, each comment you make stays on the internet permanently and so you must measure your words even more carefully.
2. Whether you work, or are a house wife, whether you are completing a project or talking to your tailor and whether you are dealing with your spouse, child or in laws, communication becomes critical. The quality and the consequence of your interaction will depend upon how well you have communicated your requirements and understood the other person’s.
3. Remember, there is no place in the world where you should be comfortable saying whatever comes to your mouth. Even with your spouse, your parents and your children, the people closest to you, weigh your words well. They are only human and you do not want to hurt the people you love the most in life.
4. The worst thing to do is start any relationship with assumptions: assumptions that have been fed into your mind from other people who have had a different relationship with the same person. Make your own judgement and start fresh and with a clean slate. The world is full of wonderful people. Don’t miss out on them just because someone else before you did not get along with them.
5. Communication does not only occur when you talk to someone. It shows through the way you greet the other person, the way you dress for an occasion, your body language, the way you eat and so on. Thus, the key is to be present at all moments- live in the NOW.
6. Manage your anger- it is the worst form of communication. With a tantrum you just prove one thing: that you are still not an adult and cannot manage your own self, leave alone take responsibility for anything or anyone else.
7. Whenever you start a dialogue with another person, start with the end in mind: stay pleasant throughout the conversation, listen and don’t just listen to reply, listen to get to know the other person and you will enjoy the conversation even more. End the conversation on a pleasant note.
8. Learn to say thank you, please and NO. These are the most important words you will be using: esp. the word NO. Only by saying NO will you be making time to what you want more of in your life. But saying NO politely, gently and firmly is an art- learn it.
9. If you are not sure about what to stay, say you are not sure or don’t say anything- hold onto your thoughts. Don’t answer quickly, randomly and without thinking.
10. Teach these skills to your children- and teach them through example and by leading.