Ayisha Qureshi

I shift every year, if lucky every two years. My husband’s job takes us all over the country, big cities and small, clean and dirty, hot and cold. And along the way I have been depressed and exhilarated, upset and excited, given up and given in…. I have been through the works. And when I sit down alone, I try to make some method of the madness that my life has been and here’s what I have learned:

1. Every place has a heart and a soul of its own. You feel it once you have lived there for a couple of months. But labelling places in any way other than geographically or climatically is wrong. For example, I said earlier that I have been to hot and cold and big and small cities. Avoid saying things like, it’s the worst place I have been to or I hate the ambience, etc. Whether you like the place or not will also depend a lot on where you are coming from and the circumstances you are in at the present. Also, every place is loved by someone who will call it home. Your speaking ill of it in front of them is not going to help you make new friends!
2. Humans are resilient creatures and children are even more so. To facilitate this resilience, make your home a haven. The day you shift, put your favourite chair and painting up first and the rest will follow. Recreate the atmosphere you love in the cocoon of your own house and you will see that every city becomes a home.
3. Don’t change your routine too much. Personally, the worst I do is leave my daily Yoga and/ or walk and within a few days I feel over whelmed and stressed. A new place, a new home and a new routine is really not an ideal combo. So keep a few things from your routine in place to give you the familiarity and comfort that you love.
4. Step out into the new city and explore- safely. It will enrich you and give you a greater perspective. Leave behind your prejudices and look at the place through the eyes of the locals. It will be a treat.
5. We love comfort and familiarity- the very reason we hate too much change. Thus, anticipate that there will be times when you will feel low and depressed and counter it effectively. No use sitting in with those blues and cursing what the life is throwing your way. Personally, what helps me most is watching an episode or a movie that I love, or I grab a book that I have read and go through some of its passages and Viola! Life is where I had left it in the older house. J
6. Depend less on ideal circumstances and try not to use them as crutches for not working, not having a career, gaining weight or whatever is not working in your life. The only thing permanent in life is change, so embrace it and you will have more control and feel calmer. What is the fun in doing well in the ideal circumstances? Heroes are made in the face of challenges. So be the hero of your own life.
7. Count your blessings- a bit too often repeated but so true. You will be surprised by how many you have.
8. Declutter every time you shift. I give away stuff every time I move and it is therapeutic! And now I have clean furniture and only things that I either need or love. Nothing in between.
9. I use every shifting as an excuse to buy new linen- a little treat for the journey ahead.
10. I am more knowledgeable and tolerant because of my versatile background, whether it concerns food, or clothes, or culture or traditions.

And finally, whatever cycle of emotions you go through is your own battle- stop being apologetic for the life that you have- the constant moving, the hassle and the uprooting. The day you stop with the whining, life will be better. It always is for those who are flexible. For those who don’t bend, it can very well break them!